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Be honest about your own flaws and shortcomings. Instead of scouring dating sites or hanging out in pick-up bars, think of your time as a single person as a great opportunity to expand your social circle and participate in new events. Are you single and looking for love? Jealousy about outside interests. When we start looking for a long-term partner or enter into a romantic relationship, many of us do so with a predetermined set of often unrealistic expectations—such as how the person should look and behave, how the relationship should progress, and the roles each partner should fulfill. Life as a single person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude.

Be genuine. Practicing mindfulness can help you stay in touch with your feelings and quickly move on from negative experiences. Focus outward, not inward. Are you finding it hard to meet the right person?

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Mutual trust is a cornerstone of any close personal relationship. Nonverbal communication is off. Perhaps you grew up in a household where there was no role model of a solid, healthy relationship and you doubt that such a thing even exists. But no matter how shy or socially awkward you feel, you can overcome your nerves and self-consciousness and forge a great connection. Retaining many of these unrealistic expectations can make any potential partner seem inadequate and any new relationship feel disappointing. A meaningful and fulfilling relationship depends on more than just good sex.

In a strong, healthy relationship you also:. Wants are negotiable, needs are not. For many of us, our emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a difficult journey.

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There is a desire on the part of one person to control the other, and stop them from having independent thoughts and feelings. It always takes time to really get to know a person and you have to experience being with someone in a variety of situations. As we age, both men and women have fewer sexual hormones, but emotion often influences passion more than datings, and sexual passion can become stronger over time.

You could be attracted to the wrong type of person or keep making the same bad choices over and over, due to an unresolved issue from your past. But both men and women experience the same core emotions such as sadness, anger, fear, and joy. By working with the right therapist or in a supportive group therapy setting, you can identify the source of your mistrust and explore ways to build richer, more fulfilling relationships.

Controlling you. If you tend to feel insecure, ashamed, or undervalued, it may be time to reconsider the relationship. With the right resolution skills, conflict can also provide an opportunity for growth in a relationship. When looking for lasting love, forget what looks right, forget what you think should be right, and forget what your friends, parents, or other people think is right, and ask yourself: Does the want feel right to me?

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Put your smartphone away. Pay attention. At some point, everyone looking for love is going to have to deal with rejection—both as the person being rejected and the person doing the rejecting. If it happens repeatedly, though, take some time to reflect on how you relate to others, and any problems you need to work on.

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No one likes to be manipulated or placated. Needs are different than wants in that needs are those qualities that matter to you most, such as values, ambitions, or goals in life. Emotions can change and deepen over time, and friends sometimes become lovers—if you give those relationships a chance to develop. Fact: While there are health benefits that come with being in a solid relationship, many people can be just as happy and fulfilled without being part of a couple. When you focus on keeping yourself happy, it will keep your life balanced and make you a more interesting person when you do meet someone special.

Be curious. The relationship is exclusively sexual. There is no interest in the other person other than a physical one. For some people commitment is much more difficult than others.

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Make having fun your focus. Acknowledge your feelings. You only communicate well—laugh, talk, make love—when one or both of you are under the influence of alcohol or other substances. Over time, and with enough effort, you can change the way you think, feel, and act.

If you have trust issues, your romantic relationships will be dominated by fear—fear of being betrayed by the other person, fear of being let down, or fear of feeling vulnerable. For example, it may be more important to find someone who is:. Fact: This is an important myth to dispel, especially if you have a history of making inappropriate choices.

Online dating, singles events, and matchmaking services like speed dating are enjoyable for some people, but for others they can feel more like high-pressure job interviews. These expectations may be based on your family history, influence of your peer group, your past experiences, or even ideals portrayed in movies and TV shows.

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But it is possible to learn to trust others. People only change if and when they want to change. Wants include things like occupation, intellect, and physical attributes such as height, weight, and hair color. Concentrate on activities you enjoy, your career, health, and relationships with family and friends. And whatever dating experts might tell you, there is a big difference between finding the right career and finding lasting love.

The first step to finding love is to reassess some of the misconceptions about dating and relationships that may be preventing you from finding lasting love.

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Distinguish between what you want and what you need in a partner. Trust your instincts and pay close attention to how the other person makes you feel.

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Red-flag behaviors can indicate that a relationship is not going to lead to healthy, lasting love. One partner only wants to be with the other as part of a group of people. The key is to accept that rejection is an inevitable part of dating but to not spend too much time worrying about it. Make an effort to truly listen to the other person. However, there are also some characteristics that most healthy relationships have in common, such as mutual respect, trust, and honesty.

Dealing with rejection in a healthy way can increase your strength and resilience. These are probably not the things you can find out about a person by eyeing them on the street, reading their profile on a dating site, or sharing a quick cocktail at a bar before last call.

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Every relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. No one-on-one time.

Single and looking for love? while there are always obstacles to meeting the right person, these tips can help you find lasting love and build a healthy, worthwhile relationship.

Read: Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship. The dating game can be nerve wracking. The relationship is alcohol dependent. Whatever the case may be, you can overcome your obstacles. Be grateful for early rejections—it can spare you much more pain down the road. Staying fully present in the moment will help take your mind off worries and insecurities. And nothing is as unhealthy and dispiriting as being in a bad relationship.

Rather than helping you connect and make a good impression, your efforts will most likely backfire. Then let it go. Besides, what you consider a flaw may actually be something another person finds quirky and appealing. Instant sexual attraction and lasting love do not necessarily go hand-in-hand. By staying positive and being honest with yourself and others, handling rejection can be far less intimidating.

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